Napoleon Dynamite

What to say about Napoleon Dynamite?

Not much. This is up there with 'The Hours' on my 'DO NOT SEE' list. I think this is the first movie I've seen where I actually got stupider (more stupid?) watching it. I could make a better movie with my home video camera that my parents purchased in the early '90s.

The plot leads no where. There are only things that happen. Napoleon's grandma (who takes care of him and his 30-something-year-old brother Kip) breaks her hip while she'd four-wheeling, so Napoleon's uncle comes to care for them. Napoleon makes a friend. Napoleon wants tater tots. Napoleon needs chapstick. Kip wants a girlfriend. Napoleon asks Trisha to prom. ALL FOR NO REASON!! It's just following some loser around with a video camera on a 'journey' that no one cares about!!

There were no acting skills involved, which made it worse. That movie should never have made a cent in theaters but look at it now...it was the number one movie in America for a long time!! No wonder they say this country is going to the dogs!!!

'GOSH -- IDIOT!' doesn't even begin to cover this movie. Sure, the randomness can be pretty funny, but it can only go so far. Yes, there were times I was laughing, but not enough to give it more than a single star. OK, the dance number at the end earned it another half of a star...

One and a half stars

Million Dollar Baby

Definitely an inspiring movie, but I can see where it would be controversial, what with the ending and all...not wanting to give anything away, I'll just say it was good.

Frankie (Clint Eastwood) was definitely fun to watch through the whole thing. At the beginning he was a cold old man who just wanted a title-winning fighter. Then Maggie (Hilary Swank) came on the scene and he took on the 'I-don't-train-girls' attitude, but of course, he changes his mind, though he was mostly forced to. Not only could you see him change during the movie, but I think you could feel it, too. As he becomes more and more attached to Maggie, you are allowed to see him more, and how he views his struggles in life (with Maggie, with his daughter, etc), and by the end, your heart is with him and you actually care about what happens next -- the trait of a kick-butt movie (no pun intended).

Scrap (Morgan Freeman) definitely gave life to the movie. I loved his view on the characters and how he knew them and described them. Morgan Freeman is one of the best in Hollywood, and he added so much to this film. Clint and Morgan had awesome chemistry on-screen, and it made for an awesome flick.

I'd suggest it!! Hilary Swank did a good job, and though I personally wouldn't have picked her for the Oscar based on this performance, she came pretty darn close in my book.

Four and a half stars.

Life Aquatic

This movie is rated R for a reason...'R' for RETARDED!! Anyone under the age of 17 who viewed it would thereafter have a permanent mental retardation condition and would be brainwashed into thinking Bill Murray is a bad actor. It's that stupid. I love Bill Murray...i respect him greatly as an actor and he was a genius on Saturday Night Live, but HOLY CRUD this movie was AWFUL!!!

So, apparently, Bill's friend gets eaten by a shark, so Bill goes off to find it, and he doesn't have the heart to kill it by the end.

It was kind of funny at some points, I must admit. I mean, come on, you can't have Bill Murray in a non-funny movie.

That doesn't change the fact that it had no plot and no reason for ever being filmed.

One and a half stars. Only 'cause it was funny.

The Hours

This movie really, truly disappointed me. You'd think that with all the attention this flick got at the Golden Globes, it would have at least been halfway decent. This movie did not deserve even a prayer of a Golden Globe Award, and yet it walked away with, what, 1 or 2 GG's (I should hope that's all they got)?? Nicole Kidman was HORRIBLE...but it's not her fault in the slightest! ANY actress would have been horrible, because it was a HORRIBLE MOVIE!!

The Hours was supposed to be about three different women that are just trying to lead their lives. They are not connected to each other in any way. Nicole Kidman plays writer Virginia Woolf, who drowned herself in the mid-1900s (how exciting). The other two women had no significant impact on history, they were just kind of...there. THey all have one thing in common: They're depressed.

WHO ISN'T?? Don't make a movie on it unless you have a storyline, or explain WHY they're depressed!!!! When I watch a woman drown herself at the end of a movie, I want to a) know why and b) CARE. I am still trying to figure out why, and I still don't care, because there ws no character development.

There was no plot. The script was awful. The camera work was probably the most exciting part of it, and that, also, was absolutely terrible. I can't believe anyone would ever even think of paying money to have a catastrophe like this written, produced, and played in theaters.

The Hours was probably the worst movie I've ever seen -- if not the worst, then it's in my top two. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY OR YOUR TIME, PEOPLE!! IT'S SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT!

One star. I'm feeling generous today.

Speak

'Speak' is a movie about a girl (Melinda) going through her freshman year at high school based on the novel 'Speak' by Laurie Halse Anderson. The summer before, Melinda went to a party with her best friends and something happened at the party where she had to call the cops. Everyone got really mad at her because a lot of people got in trouble, but the cops never even talked with Melinda...Even if they did, she wouldn't have been able to say anything, because she was in shock.

This movie is about her struggles throughout the year as she faces a friendless year. It's a truly inspiring story. Even though I'm not able to identify exactly with what happened to Melinda at that party, I find myself saying, "I've been there...I know what she's talking about..." all through the movie.

The acting was OK...Since it was an independent film, and it was probably low-budget, it wasn't the greatest acting or camera work I've ever seen. Kristen Stewart, the girl who played Melinda, has been in several other movies like 'Panic Room' and sh'ell be in a couple movies coming out in late 2005 and 2006 like 'Zathura' and 'Jusrassic Park IV'. I liked her in 'Speak'.

Overall, it was a pretty good movie. Maybe not 'two thumbs up', but it's a movie I would recommend to all teenage girls. Some guys may even get something from it.

Four stars.

Flightplan

I really liked this movie. I gotta say, it had me worried in the beginning...I'm thinking, 'HOW CAN YOU BE ANY MORE PREDICTABLE???' but it was a killer ending with a plot that you THINK you have all figured out, but by the end, it just has you floored.

Jodi Foster plays a woman who lives in Europe. When her husband is suddenly killed, Jodi and her six-year-old daughter take his body back to New York in a revolutionary new plane that she helped construct. Suddenly, while she is on the plane, her daughter goes missing and she is nowhere to be found. The entire movie consists of her trying to find the little girl and how she uncovers a sinister plot that no one could predict.

The acting was pretty good...some of the flight attendants really need to work on their abilities, but all the leads played their roles just right, and Foster had just the right amount of crazy-overprotective-mom-ness in her.

There were some holes in the plot, but each viewer will discover them for themselves.

I LOVED it.

Four and a half stars.

My new site

This site is all about movies...how original...

I'll post a comment about a movie I've seen recently. Feel free to request a movie for me to review, as well. I'm not Ebert and Roeper, but I know a good movie when I see one.

I'll give the movies a rating based on the 'star scale'...out of five stars. This will remain in effect until I can come up with a better rating system.